What is domestic abuse?

Domestic Abuse (or Domestic Violence as it is often referred to) is a crime; it is unacceptable and should not be tolerated.

Domestic Abuse is 'Any incident of threatening behaviour, violence or abuse (psychological, physical, sexual, financial or emotional) between adults aged 18 and over, who are or have been initmate partners or family members.  (Family members are defined as - mother, father, son, daughter, brother, sister and grandparents, whether directly related, in-laws or step-family). 

Domestic Abuse can happen to anyone, in any relationship; heterosexual, gay, lesbian, bisexual or transgendered, and can happen regardless of social group, class, age, race, disability or sexuality.

Domestic Abuse can happen at any point of a relationship; in a new relationship or after many years, whilst the couple are still in a relationship, during separation, or even after separation. Separation is sometimes the most dangerous time in a relationship.

Domestic Abuse is about power and control and is rarely a one off incident; at its extreme it can result in murder.

Domestic abuse should be viewed far wider than one partners against another and may include other family members.

There are different forms of domestic abuse:

• Physical; being hit, punching, slapping, pulling hair, choking, kicking.
• Sexual; rape or degrading treatment. Rape is against the law even if you are married or in a long term relationship.
• Emotional & Psychological; being told that you are a bad person, or that you are worthless, constantly being blamed for things, being put down in front of people, constantly being criticised.
• Financial; having money withheld from you or being forbidden to have a job, having to account for everything you spend.
• Social; not being allowed to go out and see friends or family etc.
• Harassment; being watched, followed, pestered, unwanted mail or phone calls etc.

Each situation of domestic abuse is unique and should be dealt with on its own merits and needs.

You are not alone, the abuse is not your fault and you always have a choice and an alternative.